Breathing is easier with you- a danisnotonfire fanfic
by Whoisemma
Summary: On a cold, rainy night, Dan finds a girl about to do the unthinkable off a bridge in London. He stops her that night, but will he always be there to stop her? WARNING- strong themes of depression, suicide, and self-harm
1. Chapter 1

Dan's POV

"God dammit where is Phil?!" he thought frustratedly. It was raining hard, very hard, and it felt like icy buckets of water were being splashed onto his body. He and Phil had been out hitting bars and drinking with a rather large group of friends, and the group spilt up into two about halfway through the night as some wanted to go to an Irish pub for a while, and others wanted to go to an upbeat, loud party style bar. He had gone with the party bar, and Phil had gone with the Irish pub. He and Phil had a policy that whenever they were out drinking alcohol and they were separated, they would meet at the foot of a bridge a few blocks from their apartment to make sure the other one was okay and had made it back safely. The rule was, if they weren't both there by 1:45 AM, the one at the bridge would go looking for the other, just to make sure. It was 1:30 AM and Phil still wasn't here. Dan sighed to himself and put his hood up and his hands in his pockets. He was freezing. His phone was dead, so there was no way to contact Phil- or play angry birds to entertain himself. He was looking across the bridge, taking in the view as it was really quite beautiful, when he saw someone, completely alone on the bridge, walking towards the other side. They looked little, and had what looked like a pale purple hoodie on, with dark black jeans. It looked like a female. He was bored and as he was convinced she didn't even know he was there, he watched her grow closer and closer until she was close enough to read her face. She was beautiful, with short, cropped dark hair above her ears with gold- reddish streaks in it. She had electric green eyes, which, Dan realized, were spilling out tears. She looked immensely sad, but also had this determined look on her face. Dan began to feel queasy, and knew something was wrong. And then, so quickly if he had blinked he would have missed it, she threw one leg- then both- over the railing and held on with her hands, her body facing the churning, deep, rocky, ice cold water below. She was planning on killing herself. Dan tried to remain quiet as he rushed towards this girl; for some reason he felt personally responsible for her. As he moved closer, he could hear her broken sobs piercing the air much clearer. He moved directly behind her, and said

"Hi, my name is Dan."

She turned her head slightly, taken aback. After a pause, she murmured

" Hi, I'm Kaitlin."

"Hi Kaitlin!" Dan replied in a friendly tone. "I don't think you should do this tonight."

She sighed, and another heartbroken sob broke the air.

"Why not?" she asked in a deflated tone, more tears falling from her eyes.

" Why don't you come back over the ledge for a little while and we'll talk about why." Dan replied in a soft, gentle tone.

She agreed to come back over, and tried to turn herself around and almost slipped off the bar she was standing on. Dan caught her just in time, his strong arms wrapped securely around her body. He lifted her easily, she was very light. He brought her over the edge and sat her down on the wet pavement. He sat down next to her and took off the coat he was wearing and placed it around her shoulders.

" You don't need to do that" she muttered quietly, wrapping her arms around her middle.

"You can use it much more then I can" Dan replies, and turns towards the girl,

" Katilin, can you tell me what's going on?"

She sighed, opened her mouth and began to speak.

A/N: Hey! I'm sorry if this wasn't up to standards but please be easy on me, I haven't written any fics in over two years and this is my first Danisnotonfire fanfic. If there's anything you'd like changed, like the formatting or anything, please let me know. Oh and on British words and phrases and stuff: I know absolutely nothing so it will probs be horrible throughout the entire story, sorry :(

PLEASE PLEASEEEE PLEASE REVIEW! I don't want to be that review thirsty author, but like I said this is the first time I've written in foreverrrr and my first danisnotonfire fic. I need feedback badly, lol. Okay I will update soon I promise! Xoxoxo- Emma


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING- THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE

Kaitlin pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

"I guess it started two years ago where a lot of things combined to make me sad all the time- I can't remember the last time I was happy- and I just can't- you know what this is insane, I don't even know you and you don't know me and I'm perfectly fine I can deal with this, I don't want to bother you anymore, I'm going now. Thank you, bye" she said,and stood up to leave. Dan grabbed her wrist, and she flinched and let out a tiny yelp of pain. Dan ignored it, for now, and said:

"Okay Kaitlin, you just tried to jump off a bridge. You were going to kill yourself. You obviously have some problems that you can't deal with, and feelings that you have no control of. Please let me help you. I know what it feels like... trust me on that."

Kaitlin looked at him and bit her lip. Finally, after staring at him for some time, she sat back down and pulled her legs up again.

"Can you describe what set this off, if anything, and how you feel?" Dan asked her gently.

She nodded slowly, and cleared her throat.

"My parents kicked me out of the house when they found some of the...er, evidence, I guess, of how I am feeling, and said I was physcopathic. They told me to get out, and so I did. This was three days ago. I have no where else to go, so I've been wandering London. I only had twenty dollars, too and it's all gone now."

Dan's facial expression was livid.

"How old are you? he asked in a angry whisper.

"18, 19 next month." She mumbled.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?! YOU CAN'T KICK YOUR SUICIDAL TEENAGE DAUGHTER OUT OF THE HOUSE. I'M PRETTY SURE THATS FUCKING ILLEGAL."

Kaitlin just sighed and ran her hands through her hair.

"As for somewhere to live, you can come live with Phil and I. Phil, he's my best friend and roommate, we rent an apartment together. He's a great guy, really funny and really friendly and nice. You'll like him. We have a guest room that no one has stayed in in forever, so we'll need to wash the sheets and get some pillows and blankets and such but it'll work."

"Oh god, I couldn't possibly ask you to-" Dan cut her off:

"You didn't ask me, I offered, and I'm going to make you take that offer until I can make sure you're safe and have a place to sleep and eat." Dan said, shooting her a cheeky grin.

"Oh lord, thank you so much I can't even express how much this means to me, you really don't have to-" Dan cut her off again, laughing this time.

"Kaitlin, don't thank me it's no problem at all, this is something I want to do. We need to go get Phil, then we'll go back home, okay?" he asked, standing up and offering his hand to help her up. She got to her feet and Dan started walking. She followed his direction. They walked in comfortable silence, except for the small talk here and there. Eventually, they arrived at a small Irish pub and Dan glanced at her.

"Do you wanna come on with me, or let me explain to Phil what's happening while you wait out here, then we'll form get you, or...?"

"I'll wait, thanks." She said, shoving her hands in dans coat pocket. He nodded,, said

"Stay right there, ok? I'll be back with Phil really soon." and headed inside.

Kaitlin stood there for a few minutes, facing the brick wall and began counting the bricks out of sheer boredom, her back faced to the streets. Suddenly, she felt a pair of fat arms circle her waist and hoist her upwards, clamping a hand over her mouth tightly so she couldn't scream or make any noise at all. She kicked and fought and tried to scream as hard as physically possible but to no avail. She began panicking and crying, trying to scream Dan's name. The highly overweight, bald man who had grabbed her took hold of her head and cracked it against the brick wall of the ally he had brought you to and whispered venomously

" You'll shut your goddamn mouth if you know what's good for you...my little slut" and his hand began traveling up her thighs. She was crying hysterically by now, knowing that there was no way she could fight him off and that he would just have his way with her.

He suddenly ripped off her hoodie, tearing it, and threw it to the ground. Next, he grabbed her tank top and tore that off as well, so she was just in her bra and jeans. He forcibly removed the rest of her clothing, and shoved her to the ground hard, he head smacking the floor yet again, and seconds later flopped his body on hers. He shoved his penis in her mouth and forced her to do as he said for a little while, then pulled out and shoved him self into her, ripping away her virginity in seconds. It hurt like hell for Kaitlin and she yelled out and started crying again

" Please stop, please don't do this I'll do anything you want please just stop. Please no." Kaitlin got out in between sobs and cries of pain.

"I said to shut up" he growled and slapped her hard.

She fell silent and lay there quietly crying as he used her.

He finished, and flipped her over.

" I hope you like anal, baby." He whispered in he ear and began to slowly enter her butt.

Just then, they heard Dan's and another man's voice calling out:

"Kaitlin, where you? Pleas still be around. Kaitlin!" They shouted, repeating her name over and over again.

"DAN PLEASE HELP I'M IN THE ALLY!" Kaitlin shrieked at the top of her lungs. Her rapist cursed at her, and pulled her hair to have her stand up, and smacked her body against the wall, about to do God knows what to her. Just then, Dan and another man ran into the ally, and saw her and her attacker. Dan raced over to the man and yelled

"GET THE FUCK OFF HER, NOW." before punching him as hard as he could square in the jaw. The man swore, and took off running, and Phil chased after him.

Dan looked at the mess of a girl, and got down on his knees in front of her. He picked up her clothes, but saw they they were torn and shredded and actually not able to even stay on a body anymore. He looked back up at her, and saw she was leaning against the wall, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, tears slipping out of them. He pulled off his shirt, as he had a wifebeater on under it and helped her step into it. He was much taller then her, so the shirt went down to her mid thighs. She was still crying and flinching away every time his hand brushed her body and he helped her dress.

"I'm not going to hurt you Kaitlin. I promise. It's me, Dan. I'm your friend. I will never hurt you, ever. He will never touch you again, I promise. I'll make sure of it." He said in a comforting tone, and only then did Kaitlin relax a little bit. He helped her into his peacoat and buttoned it up. He handed her her underwear, somehow they had gone un ripped, and she dragged it up her legs.

"Can you walk?" Dan asked uncertainly, and Kaitlin tried to step forward. She let out a gasp and fell back against the wall, and shook her head.

"It hurts." she said in a tiny voice,and Dan nodded. He wrapped his arms around her middle, and she cringed.

"I will never hurt you, remember? Dan asked, and she gave a tiny nod. From there , he hitched her legs up around his waist and told her to out her arms around his neck. She did, and he smiled at her, and whispered:

"Just like koalas, right?" Into her ear. For some reason those words gave her comfort and she visibly relaxed and nodded. They began moving toward where the rapist and Phil had ran, when she let out a soft cry into his shoulder, and started crying again, so traumatized by what had just happened to her. Dan rubbed her back and said

"It's okay now Kaitlin, he will never ever touch you again. I'm here. You didn't ask for this, it's not your fault." Dan continued rubbing her back soothingly. Just then, Phil came running back towards them, out of breath.

"He got away, I couldn't catch up to him, I lost him. I'm so sorry." Phil gasped out, his hands on his knees.

"It's okay Phil, you tried. Do you want to go to the police station, Kaitlin?" Dan asked.

"I don't think I can handle that right now." Kaitlin said in a broken voice. Dan nodded, and told Phil they were going to the apartment now. Still crying, Kaitlin grasped tightly on to Dan as they began walking towards their home.

AUTHORS NOTE: Hello all! I know that things seem to be happening unrealistically fast, but it's all part of my plan I promise. Please review people I really need feedback pleaseee. I hope you are all having a fantastic week and thanks so much for reading! Xoxoxoxo- Emma (p.s- don't forget to review, I'll read them all and I will appreciate them all even if they're negative!)


	3. Chapter 3

Kaitlin was still quietly crying into Dan's shirt as they walked home, trying to stop herself. They walked in silence for what seemed like ages. They passed several libraries, bars, nightclubs, and shops before they finally reached the door of a white apartment building, which Phil opened so Dan could walk through with Kaitlin. He effortlessly carried Kaitlin up six flights of stairs, and halfway down a hallway before reaching the door to apartment 38F, which was Dan and Phil's apartment. Phil unlocked it, and Dan walked over to a black leather couch and laid Kaitlin down on it gently. He then shot her an awkward, slightly sympathetic smile, and said

"I need to have a few words with Phil in the kitchen real fast, we'll be right back okay? Relax and make yourself at home."

Dan then quickly grabbed Phil's arm and dragged him with him through the glass door to the kitchen.

"Phil I don't know what to do." Dan said in an urgent tone.

"Can you elaborate?" Phil asked

"Okay it's like I stopped her from jumping off a bridge and then left her on the freaking streets of London all by herself at 2 AM. It is my fault she got raped I should have kept her with me I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER PHIL! It's no fucking secret that people get raped and murdered in that part of town every day, I knew it and I was being stupid and thought "oh it'll never happen to her." but it fucking did and it's all my fault! And now she has no where to stay but at the home of two men that are much larger then her and could easily overpower her if we tried, not like we'd ever but I mean it's not like she'll be trusting males anytime soon!" Dan started rambling on and on. Phil cut him off:

"Okay to start, I have no idea how to talk someone down from a ledge or a bridge but I mean the fact you managed to do that is awesome man, and it's not your fault that she got attacked. You're right, she wouldn't have been raped if it weren't for you, because she's be drowning slowly and painfully in that river. It is no ones fault but that good for nothing piece of literal shit that did it to her. I think that as long as we keep things friendly and do not make any sex jokes or even mention anything of that nature around her, she'll be fine. Well, we'll be putting her through therapy too of course. And pressing charges or at the least reporting it to the police so he doesn't do this again. I think she definitely needs some rest. We should go set her up in the guest bedroom now." Phil said

They walked back into the the living room, where Phil explained that Dan was going to go set up the sheets and such in the guest room. Dan left to go do just that, and Phil sat down gingerly on the opposite end of the sofa from Kaitlin and crossed his legs Indian style.

"So, erm, do you want or need anything? Like food or a drink, or like anything medical supply wise?" Phil asked in an uncertain tone: he really didn't know what to say to a person who had had so much happen to them in one night.

"Well I really feel the need to brush my teeth... and drink some water. And then sleep." She answered.

Phil nodded quickly, relieved that he could now deal with getting that together for her instead of trying to come up with consoling words, because he didn't know anything about what being raped feels like afterwards, mentally. He stood up and walked fast towards the kitchen, where he reached inside the fridge and pulled out a water bottle. He twisted the lid a little so it was easy to take the cap off when he handed it to her. She smiled and said thank you. Phil gave a quick nod and said

"No problem. Hey, I'm going to go get an extra toothbrush okay? One second" before dashing into his bedroom. A few weeks ago he and Dan had been on holiday for Reading and Leeds festival, and thry had gotten a lot of free, one time use, disposable toothbrushes while they were there. He grabbed one and headed towards the medicine cabinet, getting out a new tube of toothpaste. He returned to the living room.

"Hey, I've got the stuff." He said and quietly held out the toothpaste and toothbrush.

"The bathroom is down the hall, second door to your left."

She nodded, said thanks, and went to brush her teeth.

While she was in the bathroom, Dan finished making the bed and setting up pillows. He walked out and called

"Hey Kaitlin, I finished you can go to sleep now if you wan- wait where's Kaitlin?" He asked Phil in a confused voice.

"She went to brush her teeth." Phil replied.

Dan nodded and went to get himself a glass of water. He downed half of it until he heard Kaitlin's hesitant footsteps enter the living room. He headed back to the living room, and said

"I finished setting up your bed, do you wanna sleep now?" Dan asked her.

She nodded and ran a hand through her hair, as Dan led her to the spare room.

"So you've got a glass of water on the side table in case you need it, and Phil and I are the two rooms directly down the hall, I'm on the left, if you need anything don't hesitate-"

He was cut off by her suddenly throwing herself at him in a hug. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her as well, feeling her flinch away when he did but relax a second later. He breathed in the smell of her as discreetly as possible- for someone who had been homeless for the past couple days, she smelled amazing. She sighed into his shoulder and then spoke

"Thank you so much for everything Dan I literally wouldn't be here without you. I can never repay you but believe me I will try."

"Hey, no problem. You don't need to try and repay me it's all cool. Go get some sleep it's almost tomorrow." Dan relied with a smile on his lips.

She nodded, and Dan let go of her and she turned away to go crawl into bed. Dan left the room, shutting the door except for a crack as he left. He turned the hall light off and went to his room, knowing he would get little to no sleep.

A/N- hey guys! Sorry it's been so long but midterms and stuff you know . My bestfriend is in the hospital as well so that contributed to the lack of updates. Anyways, I know I ask every time but I have yet to get one and trust me they make a world of difference. Please review. It's doesn't have to be long. Just tell me what you like and what you don't so I can make it better for you guys. Please? Okay see you next time! Hope your having a fantabulous life :)


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